Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

10 THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT THANKSGIVING BUT AREN’T

 

10. Reach in and grab the giblets.

9. Whew… that’s one terrific spread!

8. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.

7. Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.

6. Talk about a huge breast!

5. “And he forces his way into the end zone.”

4. She’s 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down.

3. It’s cool whip time!

2. If I don’t unbuckle my pants, I’m going to burst.

1. It must be broken ’cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out.

 

Thanksgiving Day riddles:

 

Q. When did the Pilgrims first say “God bless America?”
A. The first time they heardAmerica sneeze!

Q. What are unhappy cranberries called?
A. Blueberries!

Q. What’s blue and covered with feathers?
A. A turkey holding its breath!

Q. What’s the key to a good Thanksgiving dinner?
A. The turKEY!

Q. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A. Pilgrims!

Q. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
A. Lots of drumsticks!

Q. What would you call a pet squash?
A. Call it anything you want- it won’t hear you!

Q. What did the farmer say to the green pumpkin?
A. Why orange you orange?

Q. Why did the turkey cross the road?
A. It was the chicken’s day off!

Q. When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand?
A. On their feet!

Q. Why didn’t the turkey eat dessert?
A. He was stuffed!

Q. What cat discovered America?
A. Christofurry Columbus!

Q. What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
A. Your teeth!

Q. Why did they let the turkey join the band?
A. He had the drumsticks!

Q. What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an octopus?
A. Eight feather dusters!

Q. What kind of vegetables would you like for Thanksgiving dinner?
A. Beets me!

Q. What’s round, red, and wears a diaper?
A. A baby cranberry!

Q. What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?
A. Your nose!

Q. Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
A. To hatchet.

Q. Why did the Pilgrim eat a candle?
A. He wanted a light snack!

Q. What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?
A. Plymouth Rock!

Q. Why do Turkeysgobble, gobble?
A. They never learned good table manners!

Q. What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
A. The letter “g”!

 

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey have to wait long to eat?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Waddle.
Waddle who?
Waddle I do if you don’t open the door?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up, I’m hungry!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gladys.
Gladys who?
Gladys Thanksgiving.  Aren’t you?

 

The History of Thanksgiving Day

     Harvest festivals and thanksgiving celebrations were held by the ancient Greeks, the Romans, the Hebrews, the Chinese, and the Egyptians.

In 1621, after a hard and devastating first year in the New Worldthe Pilgrim’s fall harvest was very successful and plentiful. There was corn, fruits, vegetables, along with fish which was packed in salt, and meat that was smoke cured over fires. They found they had enough food to put away for the winter.

The Pilgrims had beaten the odds. They built homes in the wilderness, they raised enough crops to keep them alive during the long coming winter, and they were at peace with their Indian neighbors. Their Governor, William Bradford, proclaimed a day of thanksgiving that was to be shared by all the colonists and the neighboring Native American Indians.

The custom of an annually celebrated thanksgiving, held after the harvest, continued through the years. During the American Revolution (late 1770’s) a day of national thanksgiving was suggested by the Continental Congress.

In 1863 President Abraham Lincoln appointed a national day of thanksgiving. Since then each president has issued a Thanksgiving Day proclamation, usually designating the fourth Thursday of each November as the holiday.  Thanksgiving in Canada is celebrated on the second Monday in October. Observance of the day began in 1879.

 

Have a happy Thanksgiving Day!!